All of the cards The Clough Family received in response to the death of their daughter, Emilia Clough. A great first step to give support.
Day 11. Supportive Friends/Family – There are four people who have gone over and beyond to support me during the loss of Emilia. 1. & 2. The moment my parents found out Emilia died, they packed their bags and drove 6.5 hours in the middle of the night to be in Kansas City the moment Emilia was born. They are one of few people who got to see and hold Emilia. Their support doesn’t stop there, they’ve been here to listen to me and to help honor Emilia. 3. My big sister has been my BIGGEST supporter! Almost five years ago, she also lost a baby a few weeks into her pregnancy. My sister has had all of the right words to help heal my broken heart. Although we are several states apart, we talk on the phone almost every day. 4. Days after the news that Emilia had died got out, an old high school friend reconnected with me. Right after senior year, things ended roughly with my friend and me, but she has several times gone out of her way to make sure I was doing okay. I will never forget this person’s compassion when all I really wanted and needed was a friend to tell me everything was going to be okay. She did just that. If I haven’t taken the moment to properly express how grateful I am for the four of you, then I hope you read this post and know how much you have made a difference in my life. Thank you for being there for me when nobody else was and for looking after me when I needed someone the most.
Day 12. Scents – What is the best smell in the world and at the same time; reminds me of Emilia? …Johnson’s Baby Lotion. Newborns, in general, have very fragile skin – stillborns even more so. Hospital staff will lather stillborn babies in lotion to coat and help protect the baby’s skin. You know how every newborn has that new baby scent and how they smell so good? That was my Emilia. She smelled incredible! When we were preparing to leave the hospital, our main nurse gave us a bottle of Johnson’s Baby Lotion. The gift was a way for us to feel reconnected with Emilia. Whenever I’m having a hard time, I lather myself in lotion and I am reminded of my beautiful Emilia. It is so nostalgic. Those first few weeks after coming home from the hospital, Dan and I would grab anything that still smelled of her and would embrace and relish in her scent. When the item would start to lose its special smell, we would grab our lotion bottle and lather it again in more Johnson & Johnson. It’s interesting how we rely on our five senses to comfort us in hard times. I hope other families have special items or rituals that help them get through their hard times, just as we do.
Day 13. Signs – I use to doubt whether there was a God or even Heaven… Emilia came into my life and when she died my faith faltered. I questioned whether there was a life after death. But as quickly as that question surfaced, the answer was soon revealed. I have had too many signs from Emilia that it would be foolish of me to not believe. One of the best signs she has sent us yet revolves around the number 15. A few weeks after Emilia died, I was curious to see what horoscope sign she was born under. Emilia was born on March 15, which makes her a Pisces. As I was reading the traits of a Pisces, I saw that one of Emilia’s lucky numbers is 15. It made me feel so happy that my little girl was born on one of her lucky numbers. It made her birthdate feel a little more special. For fun, I decided to look at the signs of Adelaide, Dan, and myself. I had chills as I read each of our horoscopes. Emilia, Adelaide, Dan, and I all have one similarity among our signs. All four of us share the #15 as one of our lucky numbers. Out of all 12 horoscopes; Pisces, Cancer, Virgo, and Libra are the only signs that have the #15 as a lucky number. It was that day that I knew Emilia was still with us. I realized that there is a life after death, that there is a God, and that Emilia is with my God in Heaven.
Notice the yellow bunny? This bunny represents Emilia. We bring this bunny to all major events, holidays, and family photos to show the world that Emilia is still very much a part of our family.
Day 14. Community – Our first infant loss event was a Walk To Remember in late April hosted by Titan’s Light and Lullaby of Hope. These two non-profit ministries in the Kansas City metro serve the infant loss community. Titan’s Light assists families through the burial process of stillbirth and Lullaby of Hope sells curated gift boxes for women journeying through infertility, pregnancy, or infant loss. I remember this walk being very emotional. It was a month after Emilia died and just a few days after the date of when she should have been born. I was surrounded by dozens of other families who shared our family’s same struggle. Emotional feels like such an understatement to describe what I felt at this event. To learn more about these two ministries, visit their sites at Titan’s Light and Lullaby of Hope.
Day 15. Wave of Light – Today is October 15th – Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Today I remember and honor Emilia Madeleine Rose Clough, my daughter born asleep on March 15, 2017 (exactly 7 months ago). I remember and honor all of the other angel babies who gained their wings far too early and I hold their families close in prayer. If you would like to join us in celebrating these tiny little lives, light a candle at 7 pm to help create a continuous wave of light around the world for 24 hours.
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