-DAY 9:  BREATHING IN THE LIGHT

TRUTH:  Write an encouraging note to someone you don’t know.  Leave it in a public place.  I was given a blank letter in my MOPS membership kit for the purpose of this prompt.  I left my letter at our local library for a stranger to find.  Enclosed was a written note telling them that even though at times we may feel unappreciated or just ordinary, that someone in their life considers them extraordinary.  I hope my note provided them with comfort and helped them realize how special they are to their loved ones.  Sometimes it is good to hear how appreciated and loved we are.  I know that those simple three words make a difference to me, especially while I navigate the waters after losing Emilia.  05/25/2017

DARE:  Spend a few minutes focusing on your breathing.  Inhale deeply into your abdomen for four counts, then exhale for four counts.  Repeat for five minutes.

-DAY 10:  TIMELESS DELIGHT

TRUTH:  Do you laugh or frown more? When is the last time you really lost track of time? Before March I think I truly did laugh more than frown.  I don’t think I can say that anymore.  At least not anytime soon.  I do still laugh and find happy moments – but in the present – the sadness and frowns overshadow any other emotions.  I know this is all very normal.  If I tried to hide the pain and deny myself feelings, then I would never truly conquer this pain.  To be absolutely honest, the pain will never be conquered, but rather managed.  It is a pain I will learn to live with.  It will always be a part of me and I am okay with that.  To accept this pain is to accept the love that I have for Emilia.  I currently have no grasp of time.  It has been almost 10 weeks since we said goodbye to Emilia, yet it still feels like we were just told yesterday that she had died.  It feels like we were just in the hospital seeing her for the very first time.  The memories are so vivid in my mind.  While the rest of our world prepares for summer, my mind is lost and continues to live as though it is still March 15, 2017.  05/26/2017 

DARE:  Spend one hour doing something that makes you feel alive.  Hire a babysitter if you need to … this is important.

-DAY 11:  SABBATH LIKE A SUNRISE

TRUTH:  What do you feel most grateful for? Make a list.  I am incredibly grateful for the time I was given with Emilia.  I was able to spend 2 1/2 wonderful days with her… to memorize her features, to sing and speak to her, to hold and love on her, and to give hundreds of kisses to her.  Those moments are precious, something I will cherish forever! I held her beneath my heart for 33 weeks and now I will hold her in my heart for an eternity.  Dan and I want to give the gift of time to other families suffering a perinatal loss.  In the hospital, we did not have Emilia with us during my entire recovery.  She was sent to a cooling room several times throughout the day to help preserve her body.  CuddleCots cool a baby’s body which allows them to stay in the hospital room the entire length of the mother’s hospital stay.  We want to give parents more time to spend with their child, more time that we wish we could have had with Emilia.  Even then it will never be enough.  I am so excited to announce that as of today Emilia’s Wings is officially a third of the way to our goal to purchase our first CuddleCot! I will be so incredibly grateful if we are able to make this dream a reality.  05/27/2017

DARE:  Get up early and watch the sunrise – uninterrupted.

-DAY 12:  SOLSTICE ENERGY

TRUTH:  What do you look forward to when you wake up in the morning? I look forward to the same moment each time I wake up and that moment is when I get to put on my Emilia necklace.  Dan and I chose to have Emilia cremated.  We have her cremains on a shelf in our bedroom, along with a small portion of ashes placed into six little pendants.  Two for each set of our parents and two pendants for Dan and I.  I have Emilia with me every day – right by my heart – and I will continue to have her with me every day till I see her again in heaven.  It feels so amazing to put my necklace on each morning and literally tears me apart when I have to take it off at night.  Any moment that I am not wearing my necklace it rests in a beautiful angel wings dish.  The pendant is an aquamarine stone surrounded by angel wings.  Aquamarine is Emilia’s birthstone as she was born in March.  On the back of the pendant is engraved “Emilia 3/15/17” with a pair of footprints.  The red and blue gems on the end of my chain represent both of my daughters.  Adelaide’s birthstone is a Ruby for July and Emilia’s is Aquamarine for March.  05/28/2017

DARE:  Read a book by candle light.

Continuing Reading on our Next Page… →